BULLYING AND SOCIAL AGGRESSION

Sticks and stones.... Contrary to this childhood rhyme, we now know that words hurt. Physical wounds heal, but emotional ones can last a lifetime. Studies have linked bullying and social aggression to depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, low self worth, poor academic achievement, aggression and social anxiety. Often symptoms such as cutting, school refusal and eating disorders are the fallout of social aggression, pressure or being bullied at school. In today's high tech world, home is no longer a respite or escape from this torment, as mean girls and bullies follow our youth into their bedrooms and living rooms through cyber bullying.

New Jersey has recently recognized the serious nature of this threat to our children's' well being with the passage of new legislation requiring schools to address the needs of both the bullied and the bully. Having been involved with NJ Coalition for the Prevention of Bullying for a number of years, this is an area we are dedicated to. At Partners in Counseling we have also developed curriculum and run groups for adolescents, both in schools and in our office, designed to address the issue of social aggression amongst girls that has come to be known as "mean girls".

Despite the increased focus on this issue, many schools still do not fully understand the nature of this threat and how best to address it. Bullying is frequently confused with peer conflict, with conflict resolution techniques used to intervene that only serve to re-victimize the victim rather than empower her. These methods do not hold the aggressor accountable and therefore do not impact the problem in a meaningful way. At Partners in Counseling we are well versed in the evidenced-based, proven methods developed to intervene effectively with the issue of bullying in our schools, to help empower the victim and provide positive alternatives to the bully and the bystanders. And, yes, we need to intervene with the bystanders, as well.

Every child has a right to a safe school environment. We can help you learn what your school should be doing to ensure that. Most importantly, we can help you and your child heal from the hurt of bullying.